Wednesday, October 22, 2008

FICTION part 1


CASCADA – WHAT HURTS THE MOST
- dedicated to Roxxy






I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again i pretend i'm okay but that's not what gets me

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what i was tryin to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere i go
But i'm doin it
It's hard to force that smile when i see our old friends and i'm alone
Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, livin with this regret
But i know if i could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that i saved in my heart that i left unspoken

What hurts the most, is being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what i was tryin to do

I'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again i pretend i'm okay but that's not what gets me

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
And never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what i was tryin to do







She stared at him. The way his eyes slanted when he smiles, the way his mouth quirks endearingly. His hands, moving the hair on his face and hooking them on his jean pocket. His boyish smile set her heart aflutter.

He was telling her a story which she could simply not recall. She was too enamored by him.

His words.

His being.

It was painful loving someone who only saw you as a friend. Sometimes you want to thrash out wildly, to scream into his face. To make him see how much you hurt when he’s talking about someone else.

When he’s with someone else.

He carried her books as they walked toward the classroom. She promised to stop herself.

No masochist.

But he wouldn’t let her.

"So I’ll see you later then? For the group meeting I mean? Then we can go out for ice cream after."

"I-," she didn’t want to do it.

STOP.

Her silent scream.

"Don’t worry Roxxy. You won’t have to spend a single penny. It’s my treat you cheapskate." He shook his head, muttering how she could be so cruel as to not buy a scoop of ice cream for herself.

Thats not it.

Thats not it.

Its been four long years of silent pain, four long years of pain and suffering of hiding what she truly felt.

They met when school started. He was her younger sisters bestfriend. She was someone she shared everything with.

But she died.

She was now left alone, bereft and hungering for attention. For someone she knows who would hold her hand and tell her, im here.

Im always here.

He dropped by the house often, playing that online game together with her sibling. She could still hear the giggles and the taps on the keyboard as if it did not cease to happen.

And she died.

Just like that, the once happy boy became a hollowed out man. Grown up too fast.

The pain of loosing her younger sister pained her but it was devastating to the young boy.

She had to be there for him. To hold his hand and tell him, im always here.

They got closer and closer as the years crept by. She was someone he talked to about everything. From his parents divorce to his running away and eventually to his coming back home.

She was his pillar of strength. She was closer than an older sister could ever be.

But as the years grew by, she was falling.

Falling fast.

The joys of being in love, the pink cheeks, murmured names of ecstasy was not to be.

At least not to her.

Hers was a love hidden. Hidden deep under folds of yearning and sweet sorrows. It was a pain so malignant she wanted to die.

There was no stopping what she was feeling.

"Im so happy she finally agreed to being my couple!" He said, his cheeks flushed from the joy he felt.

"And Im happy for you too. Im glad you found the one." He said, smiling.

Do you hear that? Thats my heart beating for you.








It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere i go
But i'm doin it

It's hard to force that smile when i see our old friends and i'm alone
Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, livin with this regret
But i know if i could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that i saved in my heart that i left unspoken






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Source: http://forums.tehsoulsociety.org/index.php?topic=203.0
thanks ate kim XD.. i like your story really..

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