Wednesday, October 22, 2008

FICTION part 3

1st part

2nd part


-click on title please for music before reading-

You can't leave me
Stay here even if it's hard
If I can see you just a bit more
I'd smile for the amount of love left

Timeless, it isn't separation, is it?
If there's one life, it's us now
Hold tight baby, timeless
Stain it on this heart
For it will only hurt like a moment's fever
We both agree
This is timeless love

I'll be leaving with the world
But will sadness also go with me?
You call for me for you are yearning
I will only leave scars on the door to your heart
Will I know after I swallow the tears
that i've heaved from inside of me
Hold my hand so I can't leave

Timeless, it isn't separation, is it?
If there's one life, it's us now
Hold tight baby, timeless
Stain it on this heart
For it will only hurt like a moment's fever
We both agree
This is timeless love

baby it's timeless, oh baby it's timeless

Timeless so I can go back
For it will only hurt
Like a moment's fever

We both agree, this is timeless love

It was one of those rare times that the both of us would be able to go out.
One of those rare times when I can see him and have dinner together like normal couples. It sounds shocking, after all he is my boyfriend of 3 years. I am from Hongkong, he from Korea. He is famous boyband member Kim Junsu and I am heiress, dubbed China's beloved princess, Lee Ae Ri.

It wasn't pretty, the road we've been through. Parents, while his absolutely adored me, mine, forbade the relationship. But like in all great loves, he braved the winds and actually talked to my family to allow us to be together. My father was traditional. He wanted me to marry a Chinese guy and didn't want me dating around. He was super protective of his youngest and only daughter. My older brothers tried telling him that it was time for me to experience the feeling of being loved by someone I deemed special, that he couldn't keep me forever. But he was stubborn until he met my Junsu.

He kneeled in front of father, telling him that he promises to take care of me, that he would never hurt me. I wanted to cry right then and there. It was then that I realized the extent of his feelings, and in the process discovering that mine were as strong as well, for me.

The days that he was courting me, I was but someone who was flattered at the attention. I've always had guys sending me little love notes, flirting, or asking my friends for an introduction. But when he approached me, I felt a bit more than what I usually felt. I didn't know that that was a sign.

"I'm really sorry, but right now school is taking up much of my time."

"I have school in the mornings and then straight to work right after. I really can't juggle work, school and a relationship at the same time."

"I'm not ready for a relationship right now."

"I'm sorry Junsu. It's impossible. Seriously, you live all the way in South Korea and I, in Hongkong. Don't you see that? Long distance relationships really don't work."

"I'm sorry."

There were but some of the lines that I would say each time he bares his heart to me. I felt a dull ache like something wasn't right when I say each and every excuse. I couldn't take it anymore. He was getting to close and I could not, COULD NOT get into a relationship.

"You're a really great guy and I like you more than I like my guy friends too.. But the thing is, my parents aren't too keen on me getting a boyfriend

A non-Chinese boyfriend…"

And that line again, which shows clear pain on his face

"I'm sorry."

But when he did what he did, it simply took all inhibitions away and I gave my heart to him.

I love him.

Yes, I do.

Who wouldn't? He was a good and loving soul. He taught me the intricacies of savoring emotions and feelings, of becoming a great person for yourself and not because of the one that you love. If I was asked four years ago, I would say I would do anything for the one that I love. But when I met him, he told me to love myself more than I love someone else for if it fails, I could still go on, move on. I would not become a broken person.

I was on my way home right after work when my car got blocked by a black Mercedes. Instantly, I panicked. I've seen my fair share of movies and this scene looks familiar. I don't want to be kidnapped and ransomed off. I quickly opened the door to the backseat, I finally appreciated my father's warning of not sitting shotgun.

Before I could make a run for it, the door to the driver's seat of the Mercedes opened and someone shouted for me to stop. I'm not supposed to.

Stop I mean.

But you see, the voice belonged to Junsu.

My love Junsu.

I ran all the way to him instead.

Here I was having dinner with my boyfriend who I haven't seen for almost three months already.

I looked at him from time to time while silently eating my dinner. He was deep in thought and it seemed he didn't have an appetite. He barely touched his food.

I inhaled deeply and reached out for his hand, ready to comfort him whatever troubles he may be facing.

To my surprise, he jerked back.

"Junsu..?", I asked unsure of what to make of his reaction.

"I'm sorry.."

"Finish your dinner first and then we'll talk", he said as an afterthought.

So I took my time to eat, not bothering to think about his reaction earlier. It might be his band giving him stress. Things might not have gone well at a concert or something. I've been so busy with school and managing the company that I haven't had the time to get updated with the entertainment world.

Come to think of it, the last time I talked to him was a week ago.

I think.

The waiter came and took away the plates to bring us two slices of blueberry cheesecake. This is my friend's restaurant and I know that this is his specialty.

I quickly took a bite of the cake, relishing the taste in my mouth. It's been so long since I last had one. I looked at him and noticed he was holding a glass of wine, staring at it.

"Xiah? What's up? You seem so out of it today." I said, calling him by his english name.

He cleared his throat, looked at me for a bit and started speaking.

"Ae Ri, the three years I've spent with you has been extremely wonderful. You know I loved you and I care a lot for you. "


"Babe, I-", he paused, perhaps looking for the right words to say. I did not know what to feel right at that moment. I had no idea what he was going to talk to me about. I thought hard and tried to analyze his movements and actions.

I don't want to think about it.

The last time they had a huge fight was about a year ago when his entertainment company thought it would help its new singer's popularity if it created a rumor between her, the singer, and Xiah Junsu. Afterall, TVXQ's popularity was at its fever pitch then.

She understood at first, but things started getting out of hand. That was the worst two months of her life. Junsu did not come to visit her and she was too stretched out with work and school to come to Korea. It was horrible.

It was horrible, not knowing if Junsu was still hers or if he wanted a break-up between them.

Her father forbade her to go and fix their relationship. He said, "If he really loves you, nothing will happen. It will still be the both of you no matter the distance, the separation."

She wanted to cry but she could do nothing.

"Ae Ri, remember when we had that fight about Ri In?"

I nodded my head. Something seemed to bar my throat from speaking.

"It was all a set-up you know, the rumors, etc. The company wanted to spurn the gossip mills about Ri In and I. It was all for our collaboration. I know you know that. She had a new single coming out and I was going to be in her MV and pretty soon, singing with her onstage too. She’s a sweet girl you know? So young, 3 years my junior.", he chuckled at that thought.

"What exactly are you driving at Junsu?", I thought feeling, feeling that something was going to happen tonight.

Knowing exactly what, but refusing to acknowledge.

"We've known each other for a year now, Ri In and I. The guys always pushed me towards her saying how you're too far and all, location wise that is. Everyone would always tell me how we're worlds apart. I would just laugh it off."

"I know I'm not supposed to", a pause, one heartbeat.

"But I fell in love with her Ae Ri."

A sound of glass breaking.

A customer apologizing profusely to a waiter she bumped along the way. There was conversation, a laugh here.

The world revolved.

But it stopped completely for me.

"I'm sorry Ae Ri. I'm really sorry. I've been seeing her for the past 6 months now."

And he cheated on me. But I was too numb.

Too numb and witless to even say anything to him.

"Does this mean you want to break up with me then Junsu?", I asked, voice small afraid it might come out weak and helpless.

I was.



A small nod from him, almost imperceptible, but a nod nonetheless

But I had love for myself. Was this why you taught me that? To prepare me if this time would come? I laughed bitterly in my head. I'd rather you didn't teach me at all.

I was always regal they say. Proud and completely at ease of who I am.

I did not cry or bawl in front of him. Instead, I slowly put down the desert fork I was holding and stood up.

"If this is what you want Junsu. I know you are not the type to sway. Once you make a decision, that is that. Don't worry, I'm not saying I'm not hurting right now but life goes on."

"Can I ask for one last thing before we totally cut-off all ties?"

He nodded. I could tell he was trying to hold in all his emotions. I'm no saint but he was no bastard either. Even if he cheated on me, I don't blame him. The signs were all there, I just didn't notice it. I was too blind, too busy with everything else that I forgot about him. At least he came clean with me.

"Can I hug you one last time?"

I walked near him and hugged him with my all, realizing that I would never be able to do that ever again. After this, he would only be but one person in the world of billions. If we cross paths again, who knows? I for one don't.

And I walked out of the restaurant with my head held high. I could hear him trying to offer me a ride but I just walked on.

Walked on with tears slowly running down my face, my heart squeezed out, stopped beating.

Is this how it feels like to die?

Timeless, it isn't separation, is it?
If there's one life, it's us now
Hold tight baby, timeless
Stain it on this heart
For it will only hurt like a moment's fever

We both agree
This is timeless love

thanks ate kim XD.. i like your story really..


blog template by